Thursday, September 16, 2010

If I won the Twitter Auction for Alyson Hannigan

If you win the "" auction for Alyson Hannigan, you get a phone call from:

Alyson Hannigan (Denisof) -- Willow on Buffy/Angel, and Lily on How I Met Your Mother
Alexis Denisof -- Wesley Wyndam Price on Angel
Jason Segel -- Marshall on How I Met Your Mother, Nick on Freaks and Geeks
Cobie Smulders -- Robin on How I Met Your Mother

I would use that phone call to ask them to do a voicemail greeting for me (among other things).
My ultimate voice mail greeting from them would go a little like this...

Medley: "Hi, this is Wesley, Willow, Lily, Marshall, and Robin."

Robin: "Garrett can't come to the phone right now"

Willow: "Because he's busy out slaying demons with some of our friends"

Marshall: "But if you leave a message, he'll call you back as soon as possible."

Willow: "If you're calling to offer him a job and think this voicemail is unprofessional,"

Wesley: "Please remember that some of us run a very powerful law firm, and that crossing us would be a major mistake."

Marshall + Robin: "Major Mistake!"

Robin: "This legen.... wait for it ... dary voicemail greeting is in memory of all those that died in the Haiti earthquake."

Marshall: "Hey, you guys know that show I was on Freeks and Geeks well.... ."

Willow: "Bored Now."

:: beeep ::

Shutter Island and Inception... Beautifully Complimentary

Shutter Island Tag Line: "I wonder... is it better to live as a monster or die as a good man?" 

Inception Tag Line: Your world isn't real; doubt what is reality. 

Ending of Shutter Island: DiCaprio is caused to doubt whether his world is real, and he dies a dillusional good man (because he can't accept the reality that he killed his wife).

Ending of Inception: DiCaprio DOESN'T doubt what is real (regardless what we think), he believes he is in reality with his kids -- and he lives as a monster that killed his wife, but he accepts that fact.

LOST: Worst. Finale. Ever.

Dear Lost Writers...

Seroiusly? That was one of the WORST finales ever. You took the Seinfeld route and just had a massive clip show. You left SO many questions unanswered, and it didn't even make sense. An alternate universe created by them just so they can meet eachother and prepare to enter the real afterlife (because the alternate universe was just the fake afterlife). Massive #FAIL.

What about Sun's baby? What about Claire's baby? What about Walt? Did the plane make it back? It didn't have enough fuel to make it much of anywhere.

Who built the statues on the island? What was the real purpose of the island? How did it come into existence -- sure we know about Jacob & his mom, but who was before them? Where did the original protectors come from?

Why did Ben wait outside? Was he waiting for his "daughter"? Was she ever going to come?

How long did Hugo protect the island for? Was the smoke monster really dead for real? We're supposed to believe that? That's like believing that Jack Bauer ever really dies.

Why didn't we ever get to see Echo or Anna Lucia in the finale? Or Ethan?

What about all the dead people stuck on the island? Were they set free? Or were they still trapped on that place? If they were stuck there, why didn't Jack or anyone else get stuck there?

Would the world really have ended if the black smoke monster had escaped? What was the light in the middle of the island really all about anyhow?

How did the Darhma Initiative even learn about the island? I know they built the massive swinging pendulum thing to find it, but how did they know about it anyhow?

Did Faraday end up with Charlotte?

Was Walt really psychic? What did he grow up to be?

Did Kate & Sawyer make a life for themselves while they were still living?

In summary... a Finale is supposed to bring some closure, or give you some hints on where things were going to go. Such as the Scrubs season finale last season. That was a great finale -- too bad they didn't end it there. Or the Alias series finale JJ. It wasn't perfect, but it was better than this.

JJ, if you're going to ruin shows with endings like this, why should I continue to watch Fringe?

Thanks for nothing. JJ Abrams, I'm sorry, but you'll never step out of Joss Whedon's shadow. He knows how to end his series (when he's given a chance).